5/9/2011

I have finally caught up with posting everything I previously wrote and we are now in "current time", the last post was sometime around Christmas 2010...now its May, what has been going on for the past few months?  I have been working with the California Department of Rehabilitation as well as I have been attending an "Occupational Opportunities" class at Mesa College.  I will be going to an intake appointment at a program called Workability III this Thursday, the idea behind working with all of these programs is that they will assist me in getting back into the work force, it would be really nice to feel like I was capable of making some money and taking care of myself once again.  I do know how blessed I am to have such wonderful, giving people in my life, I am just SO ready to be doing more for myself.  I still have visions of a successful future dancing in my head, now I just have to figure out a way to get there.  Right now I depend on my parents and sometimes friends to take me from place to place...I want to drive more that I did when I had a permit at age 15.  Remember how badly you wanted your permit to turn into a legal license because it meant freedom...that is the best comparison I can make.  I am still attending sessions at the gym with my trainer and I am feeling more and more capable as time crawls by.  I joined Weight Watchers back in February because I needed a little guidance, I know that the doctors and my therapists all talked about weight gain with major head injuries, but my weight gain was getting out of control and I really wanted to see a change for the positive.  They did say a weight gain of 60 - 100 Lbs. was common, OK - so I wasn't anywhere near that much of a gain but come on, I am 5'2", weight shows quickly on this short frame!

Saturday was my "weigh-in" day and happily I can report back that I lost another 1.8 Lbs., the total is now 12.6 Lbs!....I get a little overwhelmed when I think about the fact that I have a LONG way to go but if I can keep plugging away the way I have been I should be able to accomplish what I set my mind to - and my trainer at the gym is totally in my corner and believes in me in a very positive way, which helps immensely.  Yesterday was Mother's Day and I always show my love by cooking something special, we bought crab and shrimp but I was smart about options and dipping sauces - I avoided clarified butter and opted for a citrus "Mojo Sauce" that fit nicely into my plan.  All in all with the wine and the dessert I did exceed my daily points a little but that just means I dipped into my weekly extra allotment.  I have also decided to kick up my workouts a bit by adding an extra day per week to the gym, so now I will be going to the gym 5 times and walking around the lake (a total of just over 5 miles around) one day per week, allowing myself 1 full day off per week.  I have very recently made it to 40 minutes on the elliptical machine and I have to say I am very proud of that accomplishment!  I have also continued with the ab bench and the hip flexor machines to continue working on my core and I have kicked up the treadmill to 45 minutes to an hour at a "speed" of 3.3-3.5, most of which I am able to walk without holding on to the balance bar attached to the machine, I wish I could attempt to jog but I know that I cannot.  My accident really did a number on my vestibular system and I am grateful that I have gotten as much back as I have but I simply cannot help myself from wanting a little more.  I catch myself at the gym, watching other people jog so easily on their treadmill and mumbling in my own head about how easy it must be for them....really, how do I know that it is easy for them?  Maybe they are facing their own set of challenges that I am simply unaware of, if someone were looking at me they probably wouldn't see a disability - which I am truly grateful for but it is there, underneath the surface.  I do make a point of challenging myself, on days where I feel a little more "off" than usual I may have to slow the treadmill down by 0.1 but I still walk the long distance without holding on to anything (if at all possible)...and I do notice that when I finish on the machines I am more unstable than I used to be but what did I think would happen?  I have to be a little more careful of walking to the locker room and making every effort to stay standing upright while I get myself there but I truly believe that the efforts I am making at the gym are making a positive difference in my recovery, and oddly enough, I like going to the gym, I feel like I am accomplishing something by being there and its a strange bit of social interaction from time to time.

My neurologist has cut back on my number of appointments (I am down to 4 per year - wahoo

The last big thing I am going to mention is the happiest, my beautiful nephew was born on Christmas Eve.  Jamie and Nate have taken to parenthood beautifully.  Jackson is the light and love of my life...too much pressure?  He can do no wrong in my eyes and I absolutely cannot wait to take him swimming this summer....luckily I happened to find a fabulous pair of infant board shorts for him recently...I know, I have issues - I really like to cook and I also happen to like to shop.  Accept it.  I suppose it goes without saying - If I ever date again, it would be best if that guy liked to eat well and go to the gym....enough said