"Your recovery is going to be painstaking, like the way ants are building the tunnels, one grain at a time. But you will get there, I just know it." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
I think its possible that I have the best neurologist ever, I won't include his name because I don't have permission. I will say that every time I have an appointment I leave his office feeling more positive than I did when I walked in. Not long ago I had an appointment and at the end he grabbed my knee and said "don't worry, we'll get you back". I practically danced away from that appointment becuse I believed him, I believe that some day I will get back to just being me. Maybe I will be different but I still have dreams and I still have the love of my friends and my family and I still believe that if you really want something and you work hard enough you will acheive it.
This blog is about my on-going recovery from a traumatic brain injury, I chose to write about my experiences with the hope that my story will help someone else who may be facing something similar. My story is not meant to make you sad or scared, I will warn you that there are photos from my lengthy stay in the hospital and the photos are somewhat disturbing...my wish is that this story brings you hope!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Book Quotes, more info
"This kind of injury...it is complicated. It takes a long time for the brain to heal; it's about patience. Always remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Healing from brain injuries can easily take up to eighteen months, even two years." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
I understand that I have to be patient and let me tell you, patience is not one of my strong suits. I do try, I accept that this is what I have been dealt and I do solemnly swear that I will come out on the right end of this stick. There just aren't any other options, and this particular junction in this fight might be where my stubbornness actually works in my favor.
"The brain is a big hurdle. There is no way to say how much will come back." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
Its scary to realize that there is no way for the doctors and nurses to determine how much my brain will heal. They have recommendations and suggestions but it is very different than simply taking a prescription. Each patient is so different from the next, it would be unfair and incorrect to lump all brain injuries into one category. So much of the recovery comes from time, let time go by and continue to challenge yourself and slowly things will start to come together. Impatience is the enemy I battle with on a daily basis...
"If you are a person who sharpens pencils for a living and you have a brain injury, you will probably not have as many neurons from your former life to help rehabilitate yourself." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
This quote gave me so much hope, because quite frankly my job was complicated and demanding. I did not have a boring job, I was expected to perform and I intended to exceed people's expectations of me. It took alot of energy and effort to feel like I had gotten to a place in the culinary world where my talents were challenged and appreciated... I have so much more to learn and one day I will be working again and I will be learning new tricks of the trade.
"The brain heals in amazing ways, You can't discount that." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"His head wound needed to be stable to heal, and his brain was not yet ready to wake itself up. It was still rebooting; the connections inside were not yet complete." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
I wish my mom had been able to reference this book while she waited for me to wake up from my coma, this quote may have given her a little more strength at the time. There just weren't any answers as to how long I would remain in a coma and if I ever came out of it nobody knew how I would adapt.
For awhile I had a tube in my head, it measured the pressure in my brain and helped determine whether or not they would need to cut out a part of my skull to allow space for more swelling. Thankfully, they never had to cut out any of my skull, I can only imagine how much harder that would have made my recovery. As it was I took my sweet time waking up from the coma and I spent a long while not speaking at all.
"emblem for life: the need to be kind to yourself every single day because you simply can't know what is next." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"Danger was impossible to avoid. Bad things could happen to people everywhere, no matter how safe they tried to be." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"You can take precautions in life, but they are like seatbelts, they won't necessarily keep you safe." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
Do the things that are good for you, things that make you happy. Don't put yourself or anyone else in harm's way, don't take unnecessary risks. I hate to be the one to tell you that life doesn't necessarily work out the way you expect it to. Be good to the people that you love, be a good friend - even if you have to go out of your way a little because it makes a difference. So many people went out of their way to let me know that I wasn't alone, that they were thinking about me and praying for the best outcome possible. Those things mattered, they helped me get through each day and look forward to what was coming next.
"... an explosion caused the brain to slosh around against the skull. This sheared off millions of neurons and caused damage that wouldn't be revealed until Bob woke up. Even then it could take time. Sometimes the differences were subtle - slightly impaired judgement or cognitive ability, perhaps - and sometimes they were more grave, like major personality differences. One of the greatest frustrations with a head injury is that while the person might seem just fine to others, things are profoundly changed inside." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"People have a whole new appreciation for the value of life, of what it means to be spared." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"Every long-winded well-meaning expression of sympathy was a giant highlighting marker over the fact that I was different." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"I wanted people I knew to acknowledge my pain and then move on, with the speed of a wedding receiving line. I wanted, more than anything, to be one of them again." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
Yes, I want people to be aware of my accident and know that I fought my way back. I do not want the accident to be the only thing they see when they look at me. If its the only thing they can talk about with me then I will feel like I failed because there is so much more to me than this one incident. I am fully aware that this was a major incident but I also believe that I am made up of alot of pieces, so many pieces have nothing to do with this accident. Yes I was involved in a life-changing accident - next...
"The exact extent of my injuries is still difficult to measure, but I see improvement everyday. With the help of intense cognitive rehabilitation, the healing powers of the human body, and the profound support of friends and family, I have come closer to my old self, little by little. But I will never be the same. " In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"traumatic brain injuries: diagnosing the problem is just the beginning. The real work takes place in rehab. ...needs professional cognitive rehabilitation to help connect those neurons, to work with any individual deficits, and to develop coping strategies as they heal. There is so much more to be done on this front." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
I understand that I have to be patient and let me tell you, patience is not one of my strong suits. I do try, I accept that this is what I have been dealt and I do solemnly swear that I will come out on the right end of this stick. There just aren't any other options, and this particular junction in this fight might be where my stubbornness actually works in my favor.
"The brain is a big hurdle. There is no way to say how much will come back." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
Its scary to realize that there is no way for the doctors and nurses to determine how much my brain will heal. They have recommendations and suggestions but it is very different than simply taking a prescription. Each patient is so different from the next, it would be unfair and incorrect to lump all brain injuries into one category. So much of the recovery comes from time, let time go by and continue to challenge yourself and slowly things will start to come together. Impatience is the enemy I battle with on a daily basis...
"If you are a person who sharpens pencils for a living and you have a brain injury, you will probably not have as many neurons from your former life to help rehabilitate yourself." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
This quote gave me so much hope, because quite frankly my job was complicated and demanding. I did not have a boring job, I was expected to perform and I intended to exceed people's expectations of me. It took alot of energy and effort to feel like I had gotten to a place in the culinary world where my talents were challenged and appreciated... I have so much more to learn and one day I will be working again and I will be learning new tricks of the trade.
 |
| Desserts from the menu I created at the Sheraton Keahou Bay resort |
"The brain heals in amazing ways, You can't discount that." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"His head wound needed to be stable to heal, and his brain was not yet ready to wake itself up. It was still rebooting; the connections inside were not yet complete." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
I wish my mom had been able to reference this book while she waited for me to wake up from my coma, this quote may have given her a little more strength at the time. There just weren't any answers as to how long I would remain in a coma and if I ever came out of it nobody knew how I would adapt.
 |
| with the tube in my head |
 |
| the tube has been removed ~ I'll take a few stitches over a tube any day! |
"emblem for life: the need to be kind to yourself every single day because you simply can't know what is next." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"Danger was impossible to avoid. Bad things could happen to people everywhere, no matter how safe they tried to be." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"You can take precautions in life, but they are like seatbelts, they won't necessarily keep you safe." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
Do the things that are good for you, things that make you happy. Don't put yourself or anyone else in harm's way, don't take unnecessary risks. I hate to be the one to tell you that life doesn't necessarily work out the way you expect it to. Be good to the people that you love, be a good friend - even if you have to go out of your way a little because it makes a difference. So many people went out of their way to let me know that I wasn't alone, that they were thinking about me and praying for the best outcome possible. Those things mattered, they helped me get through each day and look forward to what was coming next.
"... an explosion caused the brain to slosh around against the skull. This sheared off millions of neurons and caused damage that wouldn't be revealed until Bob woke up. Even then it could take time. Sometimes the differences were subtle - slightly impaired judgement or cognitive ability, perhaps - and sometimes they were more grave, like major personality differences. One of the greatest frustrations with a head injury is that while the person might seem just fine to others, things are profoundly changed inside." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
 |
| Starting to wake up from my coma, one eye slightly open - ugh, so creepy! |
"Every long-winded well-meaning expression of sympathy was a giant highlighting marker over the fact that I was different." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"I wanted people I knew to acknowledge my pain and then move on, with the speed of a wedding receiving line. I wanted, more than anything, to be one of them again." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
Yes, I want people to be aware of my accident and know that I fought my way back. I do not want the accident to be the only thing they see when they look at me. If its the only thing they can talk about with me then I will feel like I failed because there is so much more to me than this one incident. I am fully aware that this was a major incident but I also believe that I am made up of alot of pieces, so many pieces have nothing to do with this accident. Yes I was involved in a life-changing accident - next...
"The exact extent of my injuries is still difficult to measure, but I see improvement everyday. With the help of intense cognitive rehabilitation, the healing powers of the human body, and the profound support of friends and family, I have come closer to my old self, little by little. But I will never be the same. " In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"traumatic brain injuries: diagnosing the problem is just the beginning. The real work takes place in rehab. ...needs professional cognitive rehabilitation to help connect those neurons, to work with any individual deficits, and to develop coping strategies as they heal. There is so much more to be done on this front." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Book quotes: Only you
"But I also learned that the scar is always there, just below the undergarments, although the raw wound may close. And when you turn, examining yourself at the end of the day before bed, it is you who can see it best in the mirror." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"there are no shortcuts to healing. There is no circumventing the pain. To truly heal, you must walk right through the blazing core of grief and face it head on, every agonizing day. Only then can you begin to take baby steps towards recovery." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"There are no good luck charms, no tailsmans or deals with the devil. Misfortune and trouble can find you at any time." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"different ability" In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"I understood the strength of being in the company of women. It was pwerfully good medicine. " In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"Life is so much more interesting when there is someone you truly respect who is trying to kick your butt, who makes you rise to a higher level to compete. It raises the level of your game." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"On the wall oppposite my bed there weree blown-up photographs of my family, and just looking at them was motivating. Those pictures brought me more than happiness; they gave me a powerful will to recover." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
I saw potential head injuries everywhere." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
This is true, I see potential head injuries EVERYWHERE I look! Please don't use your cell phone when I am in the car with you, actually don't use it in the car ever. I think about how I could potentially get hurt everywhere I go - it's very distracting and rather depressing! I can't help it, my mind wanders and all of a sudden I am worried about something bleak.
"Although I was often hard on myself and the slow pace of my progress, I could see small changes." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
" "I've earned these scars," he would joke." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"No one can undergo a life-changing event and be the exact same person they were before it happened. I am a more grateful person now, on so many levels. I truly appreciate the depths of friendship and I'm thankful. I've also had to relearn how to do certain things I once took for granted." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
This quote really struck a chord with me on so many levels, as much as this recovery SUCKS it has taught me so much about myself. I believe that I have the best, most accomodating family and friends in the world. I am more thankful for everything. I am not as hard on myself as I once was. I do not reccomend changing your life by getting into a horrible accident but I do reccomend finding the positive in every situation.
"I have to say that I spent very little time looking back at what was lost." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
This, too, is true, every once in awihle I catch myself saying "this used to be so much easier". What good is it going to do me to constantly be looking backwards? Look at the now and try to do better - that's really all anyone can do.
"there are no shortcuts to healing. There is no circumventing the pain. To truly heal, you must walk right through the blazing core of grief and face it head on, every agonizing day. Only then can you begin to take baby steps towards recovery." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"There are no good luck charms, no tailsmans or deals with the devil. Misfortune and trouble can find you at any time." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"different ability" In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"I understood the strength of being in the company of women. It was pwerfully good medicine. " In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
 |
"Life is so much more interesting when there is someone you truly respect who is trying to kick your butt, who makes you rise to a higher level to compete. It raises the level of your game." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"On the wall oppposite my bed there weree blown-up photographs of my family, and just looking at them was motivating. Those pictures brought me more than happiness; they gave me a powerful will to recover." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
 |
| the pictures on the wall in my hospital room were mostly of my work, I had pictures of friends and family but most of my nurses and doctors commented on the work photos...yay cupcakes! |
I saw potential head injuries everywhere." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
This is true, I see potential head injuries EVERYWHERE I look! Please don't use your cell phone when I am in the car with you, actually don't use it in the car ever. I think about how I could potentially get hurt everywhere I go - it's very distracting and rather depressing! I can't help it, my mind wanders and all of a sudden I am worried about something bleak.
"Although I was often hard on myself and the slow pace of my progress, I could see small changes." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
" "I've earned these scars," he would joke." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
"No one can undergo a life-changing event and be the exact same person they were before it happened. I am a more grateful person now, on so many levels. I truly appreciate the depths of friendship and I'm thankful. I've also had to relearn how to do certain things I once took for granted." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
This quote really struck a chord with me on so many levels, as much as this recovery SUCKS it has taught me so much about myself. I believe that I have the best, most accomodating family and friends in the world. I am more thankful for everything. I am not as hard on myself as I once was. I do not reccomend changing your life by getting into a horrible accident but I do reccomend finding the positive in every situation.
"I have to say that I spent very little time looking back at what was lost." In an Instant: A Family's Journey of Love and Healing, written by Lee and Bob Woodruff.
This, too, is true, every once in awihle I catch myself saying "this used to be so much easier". What good is it going to do me to constantly be looking backwards? Look at the now and try to do better - that's really all anyone can do.
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